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SirRedCheeks's avatar

Views: 86 · Added: 21 hours ago

Its been a very cruel day for me today.say Arhhhhhhhh everybody.

So I strolled down to the library.
I asked " have you any books on how to successfully committ suicide ".

Come on family say Arhhhhhhh to SRC again.

The very helpful librarian ,said.
" Well Sir we used to have loads of them. the problem is our borrower's never bring them back ".

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brat01's avatar

Views: 86 · Added: 1 days ago

Happy st andrews day to all my scottish friends xx

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ThatBratinGA's avatar

Views: 84 · Added: 1 days ago

Things That Go Wrong 4

As I said, this is all true. Only some names have been changed to protect, well, not exactly the innocent, but people who would be awfully embarrassed if their neighbors identified them. You know who you are.

The Darwin Award is awarded to those who through acts of heroic idiocy manage to filter the detritus from the shallow end of the gene pool. A person desirous of the award usually signals his intent to compete by uttering the traditional phrase, “Hold my beer and watch this!” and then does something so cosmically stupid that he is immortalized in the minds of men who drink cheap beer. That is the upside. The downside is that the guy will not be able to personally brag about his success unless he finds a way to return from the after life where, according to my reading of the Bible, they don’t have either beer or a sense of humor.

My friend George should have been given the Darwin Award For Spanking. This Blog is being submitted to support his nomination. Of course George is still alive. That is a bit unusual for an honor that is usually awarded posthumously. But his wife would have killed him. That should count. And George almost ended up in prison, something that always enhances street cred with men who drink cheap beer.

Now I should note that no woman has ever been honored with a Darwin Award. Some say that is a function of their superior intelligence. I say it is simply because the wives and girlfriends of Darwin recipients are all busy being abducted and probed by aliens. De gustibus non est disputandum, as I always say...especially after my third drink.

It all started after George watched an adult spanking scene in an art film. At the age of thirty-six George realized that he was really turned on by spanking. The problem was that he had never actually spanked anyone and did not know anyone who wanted to be spanked. George decided to remedy this problem by suggesting to his wife Fanny that he wanted to spank her. He did this by giving her a good slap on her ass while announcing his intentions. (George is not great on subtlety.) Fanny has a rather ample behind, and I would have thought that not only would she not mind but that she might not even notice. Hell, Fanny could probably sit on a bear trap without flinching.

She noticed. She looked at George and said two words, “Lorena Bobbitt”, and then vividly described how she would give George a sex change operation with the garden shears if he ever did that again. George, neither desiring to change the name on his driver’s license to Georgette nor pay for a completely new wardrobe, hid the garden shears and started thinking about other possible, and less homicidal, spanking partners.

Since I was George’s best (perhaps only) friend, he came to me for advice. After carefully analyzing George’s social skills I helpfully suggested that he buy a blow up sex doll...the general argument being that they knew nothing about garden shears and would not call the cops. George failed to grasp the practicality of this...particularly the latter part.

George could not stop thinking about spanking. Neither could he stop waking up in a cold sweat to the perceived sound of someone sharpening garden shears. Sexually frustrated, he began to imagine that he had a chance with beautiful women and that those women would let him spank them. Yeah, sure. 1) The number of men with any given sex fantasy outnumber women by a factor of 10 to 1; and 2) George was an engineer. He had the social skills of Dilbert.

Nevertheless, a week later George told me he had found his spanking partner, Janet.

“You mean Janet who works in the accounting department? The tall beautiful blond? The one who turned down an offer to pose in PlayBoy? THAT Janet? Are you out of your fucking mind?”

“But she is into spanking!”

“How do you know that?”

“She has this really beautiful ass and she wears tight skirts...”

“George, that means she works out at the gym and reads Paris Vogue! It does not mean she is into spanking!”

“But she always says hello to me!”

“George, Janet says hello to the doorman, who is rumored to have ridden with Teddy Roosevelt, and to the kid who unjams the copy machine. She probably says hello to the potted rubber tree plant in the lobby. But that does not mean she wants either one of them, much less you, in her pants!”


“OK, look, here is what you should do. Offer to buy her a cup of coffee. If she does not hit you, buy her lunch. If she talks to you at lunch, take her out for drinks after work and then invite her to a play. If you are lucky you will end up in a hot pillow joint where you can give her oral sex without making her ask for it. Women always like oral sex. But DON’T mention spanking. Let HER tell you HER fantasies. Maybe you will get lucky.”

I thought this was reasonable advice. But George did not grasp the concept of gradualism. Or subtlety. Did I tell you he was an engineer? George wrote Janet an anonymous letter, using a Post Office Box as a return address, in which he stated that he knew she was into adult spanking and that he was going to give her the spanking she deserved. Then he went on vacation.

When he returned from his vacation he found a note on his desk informing him that a Lieutenant from the Chicago Police Department had been calling him regarding an important matter and had left a direct number that he should call immediately when he returned. As I mentioned, Things Go Wrong.

When he dialed the number he was connected to Dirty Harry, or at least someone who sounded a lot like Clint Eastwood when he was in a bad mood. Dirty Harry told George that they needed to talk, at the station, tomorrow morning, at 10 a.m. George did not feel lucky.

Chicago’s First District Police Station at 1718 South State Street bears a resemblance to the KGB’s Lubyanka...not just in appearance. In a third floor office a Lieutenant Jon Burge got scores of men to confess to crimes they had not committed, persuading them by means of an electric generator wired to their testicles. No one bothered about the screams. No one noticed that some of these guys confessed to crimes that had not yet been committed. Burge was promoted to Commander. The Chicago Police Department had that sort of reputation.

George was ordered to sit on a hard bench in a cold hall. He had arrived before 10. It was now 2 pm. Usual cop tactics. George had been drinking bad coffee. Finally a thick set Sergeant led him into a gray room with a gray metal table and gray office chairs and told him to sit down. There was a mirror on the wall. If he could turn off the fluorescent light (the switch was outside the room) he would be able to see people watching him through the mirror. There was no knob on the inside of the gray metal door. It was now 3 pm. George had one thought: “I really have to pee.”

Finally Dirty Harry opened the door. The Lieutenant spent a lot of time looking at papers he had in a file, frowning and shaking his head. He ignored George’s questions. Finally he pushed a paper in front of George and asked, “Do you recognize this?” It was a photo copy of the spanking letter George had sent to Janet.

One of the things people with a functioning pre-frontal cortex learn is that the world is a lot more complicated than you think. While George was more or less innocently fantasizing about spanking Janet, Janet was being stalked by a sex maniac. Janet reasonably assumed that the spanking letter was sent by this maniac and had given it to the police. They used the Post Office Box number to get George’s home and work addresses. They thought they had Janet’s stalker. Sexual stalking is a felony in Illinois and George was looking at 5 to 10 in Joliet.

George now had to convince Dirty Harry that he was not a dangerous sex fiend but simply a pervert. This is really hard to do when you have a full bladder! George had to confess to a Chicago Police Department Lieutenant who had the demeanor of a KGB torturer that he 1) was perversely excited by unfulfilled fantasies of spanking the bare bottoms of beautiful women, and 2) had no real sex life, but 3) believed, Walter Mitty like, that women who turned down offers from PlayBoy would let him take down their panties. In the legal profession this is know as the Poor Schmuck Defense.

Somehow it worked. But George has never been the same. Nightmares about garden shears...and cops. He somehow kept his job. And Fanny never found out. (I can keep secrets...well, for a price.) But he is scared to go anywhere near Janet! I am, of course, tempted to tease him about the incident. But it is unfair to cause a man to wet his pants.

This IS a true story.

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mspankee's avatar

Views: 119 · Added: 1 days ago

Ladies and germ aka gentleman strict female switch females this apply to you too

ask me any question you would like to know about me and i will do my best to answer your question soon as i can so get to thinking those questions to ask me

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MarshaRay's avatar

Views: 152 · Added: 1 days ago

Susan was a professional dominatrix who had invented a fun game for herself and her clients. She called it, "Pay Per View." One day when I saw her for a session, she invited me to play. She started by saying, "Would you like to see my breasts during our session?" I did not know what to think, I was shocked but I told her the truth, "Yes, Mistress Susan!" FemDoms do not allow there submissives to see any nudity but Mistress Susan was a bit of an exhibitionist that did not mind under strict rules and conditions. She said, "I have a game I play with some of my clients called Pay Per View. In this game, you will take off all of your clothes. For you, I have a special treat, I am going to put you in a pull-up diaper. I have a wood paddle with holes in it that I will administer a painful spanking until your bottom is hot and red. You will be positioned in a special way so you cannot masturbate until I give you permission. Do you agree to play?" "Yes, Mistress Susan," I said. "Very well, I am going to go prepare myself and you will prepare yourself too by undressing and putting on the diaper I provided. Deal." When Mistress Susan returned she was stunning! She wore a small black pair of panties that were see-through. She had a matching teddy but she was topless. I looked at her beautiful full soft breasts. Her nipples were a beautiful dark brown and erect. I took a deep breath of excitement and soon I had a throbbing erection. Noticing the bulge she said, "Pull down your diaper NOW!" I obeyed her. "Alright, you have been a very naughty submissive male and you need correction. Come here and bend over and grab me around the hips." I obey her immediately. "Now that you have enjoyed my breasts, I am going to spank you and then paddle you until your bottom is all red and hot to touch!" As I clung to her, the spanking started. She struck me again and again with her firm hand and the sound filled the room. For 10 minutes she spanked my bottom as I hung on to her. I wanted to masturbate so bad! Next she picked up her wooden flat paddle with holes and firmly swatted my bottom several times. For another 10 minutes I received the paddle and my bottom became red and quite hot as she promised me it would. When the pain was too high, I said my safe word. "Now, do you want to masturbate?" "Yes Mistress, I said panting." "Well, very well, but you are to wait 10 minutes while you pull your diaper up and stand in the corner. If you are good, I will give you permission." You can bet I was very good...

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MarshaRay's avatar

Views: 134 · Added: 1 days ago

Hello to my spanking family community! I hope you are had a good Thanksgiving Day and weekend. I did. I am setting new goals. 4 weeks ago, I put my thoughts into action and started a exercise program based on long distance running. My program has really got me feeling good. I run, lift weights, and stretch. Today, it hit me though, I felt really "spanking horny". I am glad I really accept this part of myself and let the feelings and fantasies in now. Since I don't have a relationship, I have to work things out on my own. My next post is going to be another fantasy story I thought up today to satisfy the "spanking horniness." If you like stories, check it out...

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misterstrict's avatar

Views: 218 · Added: 2 days ago

What is the best punishment for the girls on this site, who quite freely state that they want to chat, who chat for a day or maybe two, then without any excuse or explanation stop messaging. This applies evidently to every single female on this site!

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tygrr's avatar

Views: 159 · Added: 2 days ago

Just wondering if any of my friends here are in london? i have a few people from my youtube channel that are in london, and its crazy because i thought they were in new york from the way the streets looked, but to my surprise they were in london! it looks really nice there. i also didnt know that london also has a craigslist lol, so i was just looking at how much apartments were, and trying to see what they were in US dollars, so i found a place that was 400 pounds and when i looked that up it was equivalent to 601.26 in american money so not to expensive at all, but really beautiful! i absolutely fell in love with the kitchen! in this 2 bedroom apartment.

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ZadokThePriest's avatar

Views: 266 · Added: 3 days ago

Hi Folks

Anyone who has watched our videos will be aware that there is always classical music in the background. We have used pieces by Handel, Max Richter and Dvorak. The music is just playing in the background rather than being added afterwards.

I’ve got nothing against more contemporary music but generally find anything with a vocal is rather a distraction from the business at hand.

During our most recent session there was a rather jazzy collection played by (the thoroughly gorgeous) Alison Balsom. I love the music but it was a bit too chilled to accompany a caning. Ms. E commented that it wasn’t ‘vigorous’ enough. This got me wondering whether you folks have any preferences for a spanking session. A rather good choice would be the finale of Tchaikovsky’s 1812.

What would you choose?


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jeep1957's avatar

Views: 238 · Added: 3 days ago

My friends all warned me about the Craig's List men
but I didn't believe them......and so my story begins.

I started my search for a man that was fine,
that knew what I needed and would redden my behind.
I saw short ones and tall ones, some stupid as hell.
One guy even asked me money for bail!
Some came over, without calling me first,
and would eat all my food....I think those were the worst.
I kissed frog after frog, I thought my lips would turn green,
but I didn't give up and help fast to my dream.
Writing post after post and getting answers that said,
"You're cute but I'm married, would you give me some head?"
With all the assholes, fuckers, liars and jerks,
There's got to be one that could possibly work.
Once again, I am writing a post,
listing the qualities that I admire the most.
It might take a month or two maybe more,
to put an end to the search, that's become such a chore.
To the God's Up Above, I'll ask once again
Send the very best that you have, send one of those Craig's List Men.

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rozehipz's avatar

Views: 175 · Added: 3 days ago

If you like my videos they will be for sale for only $4.99 or less at The Spanking Library through Sunday only. After that, they will be full price again. Check em out, and HAPPY HOLIDAYS

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jeep1957's avatar

Views: 179 · Added: 4 days ago

1000 YEARS

He takes his time to know me,
His hands....his eyes and ears.
I drink in every part of him.
I have for a 1000 years.

I hear him call me softly
as if written in a song.
singing, stay here right beside me
it's the place where you belong.

I gazed into his eyes
and saw my soul reflect therein.
I lay in the arms of a giant
cradled in love from within.

He's been in my soul for a 1000 years
and he'll stay for a 1000 more.
For he has the best part of me
He has my Heart and my Soul.

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jeep1957's avatar

Views: 194 · Added: 4 days ago

I walked in the door more than a little fucked up....almost three hours late and without the dinner I said I was going to bring back. Needless to say, my boyfriend was a little more than pissed off. I didn't give a shit. I thought he was All That when I met him, but the dude let's me walk all over him. I can't respect a guy like that. I headed to the kitchen and stopped dead in my tracks when he said....."What you need is a good spanking".....I turned around and saw him sitting in a straight back chair with a wooden spoon in his hand and looking me dead in the eye. I didn't catch the smoldering anger when I said..."Humph....and you think you're just the man to do it?" I said with a smirk. A chill went up my spine as he got up and walked toward me....He was a fairly good sized man and worked out, but I held my ground. He said...." We can do this the easy way or the hard way. Anyway we do it, I am going to give you the spanking you've earned for yourself."...."Like Hell" I said.
When he reached out and grabbed me by the wrist, I dug both heels into the carpet as he headed toward the chair. The closer he got to the chair, the more I struggled. "You can't do this to me!"....."I can and I will!" Even though a thrill went through my whole body, I was still denying what was going to happen. "No, no NO!"......"OH Yes, yes, YES".....Then I bit his arm when I got the chance. OOPS.....I heard a growl and my pants were quickly pulled down to my knees and I found myself thrown over his lap, ass in the air, his heavy leg pinning me down and was saying...."This is going to teach you about respect". I felt the first crack of the wooden spoon and thought, I can handle this.......It was if he read my mind....."The first couple aren't so bad, but I'm not giving you just a couple........." He continued spanking me and it was really starting to sting. Another thing was starting to happen too......I was getting this tingling feeling all over my body and settling in my pussy. God, I was actually getting turned on!
Whack after whack the wooden spoon came down on my stinging ass. I tried to protect it by reaching back with my hand to cover myself, when he just as quickly had my arm pinned. Being controlled like this, I was not used to and it pissed me off big time. My instincts told me to fight back and I started to struggle like a mad woman, even managed to bite him in the leg. Another OOPS......He dropped the spoon and started spanking me with his bare hand. A bare hand that was made out of solid oak, with razor blades embedded in the surface. YOWWWWWWEEEE ! "OK! OK! I'm sorry!" He paused in his minstration "For what?"....." Fuck if I know! You are the one that said I needed a spanking!" That got me a few more hard whacks......."OK! OK! COME ON! STOP!" "Why?" he said very calmly......" I've learned my lesson, please stop." "And what have you learned?" "That I've been being a disrespectful bitch. I won't do it again. I promise!" He knew I never made promises. It ment commitment. He stopped his raining blows for a moment...." I believe you" he said as he rubbed my burning butt. " Because it took this to get through to you, I'm going to give you ten more and we'll be done......unless there's a next time."
He carried me to the bedroom and had the hottest sex I've ever had. These days I find that I'll misbehave on purpose......

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BackonTrack's avatar

Views: 285 · Added: 4 days ago

First of all I wanted to say I love this community for the most part. I lurked around long before I started making my own videos but was welcomed with open arms when I did. I was happy to hit the first million views and am pleased about the second. However I have had a pretty traumatic experience recently and my whole life has been flipped upside down.

I don't know what the future holds or if I will ever truly recover from this but I felt you all deserved an update and at least a non-commital farewell. I may still get on to check a message now and then, or I can be reached via Princess. I wouldn't expect any more videos for some time though.



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cool32's avatar

Views: 222 · Added: 5 days ago

I hope you're giving out spankings today.

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tygrr's avatar

Views: 259 · Added: 5 days ago

A wise Man once told me, Self-Spankings build character! AND HELP KEEP YOU CONDITIONED ;)

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jeep1957's avatar

Views: 206 · Added: 5 days ago

The dishes are done, the food put away,
thank God it's over, this Thanksgiving day.
You worked for days, so things would be right,
everything sparkled, it was a beautiful sight.
Your guests filed in, two by two,
some offered to help.....when there was nothing to do.
As your house filled up, with laughter and cheer
but you only heard...would you get me a beer?
There was food everywhere, the table needs to be set
where was your help?...... but they seemed to forget.
You stood back to admire the work that you've done
and not a thanks did you get, not even a one.
Now your house is quiet, you kick off your shoes
and you can not believe it...

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jeep1957's avatar

Views: 201 · Added: 5 days ago

My ex-husband and I started to play. I can't remember if we started off with just spanking or with light bondage as well. I had mentioned a spanking scene I'd read in a book and how it had turned me on....He spent the day reading my trashy Historical Romance and when I'd got home from work had wanted to try it. Apparently he liked the idea of spanking me and the thought of being spanked made me squirm where I sat. We were both new to this and had no idea what we were doing and no idea there was a life style, let a lone a name to what we were starting to explore. It was awkward at first, but watching movies helped our education and our imaginations.
We had tried different spanking elements from the kitchen and some poor bondage material from the garage and it worked, for awhile, but now we wanted something more. I could tell that he had a vision and so did I. So, after a stop at the Hardware Store, the Liquor Store, the Cinch and Saddle and the Adult Book Store, we were ready to rock and roll. Only thing was, when we got home, it was 2:00 in the afternoon and wouldn't have the house to ourselves for several hours. I decided to amuse myself and go through the hardware sack.....Jesus Christ! He bought 16 penny nails, 10 penny nails, lag bolts, eye hooks, sky hooks, 300 hundred feet of rope, 20 feet of 1/4 inch galvinized chain.....I was starting to get a bit nervous! and he had a gleam in his eyes to match no other.
The time had finally come, so when I came out from my bath, the house was quiet and he was standing there ready to guide me into the bedroom. He had candles lit, a movie on and the bed.......I first noticed the large cushion in the center, then at each corner, was a length of rope secured to it. He came up behind me, slipped off my robe and tied a bandana over my eyes. Something we hadn't talked about, but I like it. Added to the antispation......which grew emensely with each hand, each foot he secured. With my legs tied so far apart, my ass up in the air, I could feel a breeze on my pussy. I liked the sensation it was giving me. It was the first time I felt totally exposed and he loved the view. It was also the first time he took a more Dominant roll........ and he liked it.
He started off with soft caresses, mostly my ass and pussy and I shivered when I felt the vibrator on my clit. He instructed me not to come and if I did, there would be harsh consquences. My God I was getting close and I told him I was about to come........ He said that was a little too close and I'd be punished. He started applying the riding crop, tenative at first, but that didn't last long. He commented how he liked the way my ass was getting red and I told him it was really starting to sting. HUMMMMM was the only comment. When I told him STOP, it hurts! He used the vibrator once again and got me so close I thought I'd lose it. He applied the crop again, this time a little harder and a little longer. He'd make me count the hard ones....... the sensation feeling different each time and I wanted more strokes and harder strokes. It turned him on being in control of my body, watching my reactions as he teased, hearing me gasp, seeing me pull on my restraints......watching how pain and pleasure worked independently, then having it meld into the most incredible pleasure I'd ever known.
Now I was asking for 10 more, 15 more, don't stop, harder and he was giving them to me, both enjoying every second, every stroke.....Until we couldn't stand it another second......he drove himself deep inside me and came in unison. The best orgasm I'd ever had. The best orgasm he's ever had.

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WWEjunkie2006's avatar

Views: 137 · Added: 5 days ago

For all of you who were too busy fighting the crowds, Stevie Rose's I Heart Spankings ( is giving you an early Christmas present! The ONLY site featuring REAL family spankings, with Stevie Rose and her REAL little sister, Mother, and Aunt all getting disciplined with or by each other, along with many other spanking videos featuring some of the top spankers of today and yesteryear, is having a once a year sale that CAN'T be beat!

Our yearly Spanko Friday sale will be extended an extra 2 days into Spanksgiving Week. Our Clips4Sale site has ALL CURRENT TITLES of BRAND NEW EXCLUSIVE CONTENT for the LOWEST POSSIBLE PRICE that Clips4Sale will allow! That means all the spanking and disciplinary content you could want for up to 50% OFF!

Hurry, as these savings start at Midnight on 11/27 (TONIGHT) and end at midnight on Nov 30!

Don't miss out and have a very happy holiday from the I Heart Spankings family to yours!

The I Heart Spankings Team

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SpinnerofMaui's avatar

Views: 138 · Added: 5 days ago

Aloha this is Uncle Spinner from the island of Maui STI's (sex transmitted infections) Syphilis, HIV and Hep C is everywhere on Maui where single young men and women are playing "between the sheets" and to make it more intense High School is heading towards a long winter break starting Dec 18th. Remember guys one of the ways you can get syphilis is from oral sex, it is a bacteria and is Highly Contagious shootz Single and had sex on Maui go get tested for STI's your in major Danger... text your Zipcode to KNOWIT (566948) to find out where to get tested. Share this with a son or nephew and tell them to share it with their buddy's.
Everyone got to stay Healthy here! Get the word out to young local and visitors tell them to keep their pants and zippers up if they live here or visiting.. not kidding brah...
I'm old school so if you think your going to have problems come see me. I have no qualms instructing you to drop your board shorts, take a firm hold of your ankles for a half dozen strikes with a razor strap (mentoring, a teachable moment) to remind you to Keep your pants up, there is a time and a place guys, be honorable, be gentlemen!
Spread the word..If not now then when?
Spinner HIV outreach Maui USA

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